The past several days¶

The past several days have been an extended fatigue fest. The best way to describe it is less "tired" and more the feeling you get when your body is actively fighting off an infection. I'm not sleepy; my immune system is trying to stop me from using energy, so it can "fight." Exercise makes it worse, since that just uses up the smaller budget of energy my body has allocated for non-immune system functions at any given time.

Same with thinking; brains use a LOT of energy. My ability to concentrate or make plans is shot during these periods. None of this happened before I got COVID. Now it happens every few weeks. I haven't seen a doctor to confirm my suspicions, because honestly... I don't trust clinicians. The practice is far behind the science in this field, and has been for a long time. With COVID adding yet another trigger for chronic fatigue -- one that is ultra-common compared to older diseases -- combined with the pathological desire to ignore the ongoing pandemic, clinicians have fallen even farther behind the body of scientific literature on the subject. I don't really have the money or the energy to waste running around, trying to find a doctor who won't just try to gaslight me, psychologize my condition, or say "I have no idea how to treat this."

Because the truth is, I don't know how to treat it either. No one does. I'll probably seek an official diagnosis at some point. It would be useful to have documentation I can point to if necessary. But I would need a doctor I can actually trust, and this pandemic especially has been absolutely terrible for the prospect of trusting the medical system.